going back to move forward

I have been in therapy for a couple of years now. Cognitive (talking) therapy, with a Christian counselor. It has helped me in so many ways! It has greatly improved my relationships with myself, and with others, which I am so grateful for.
Over the sessions, it has become even more obvious that I have some pretty big traumas in my life that play more of a role in who I am today than I have ever really realized.
I speak often about how I used to be obese, and how I have worked really hard on overcoming emotional eating. I also mention pretty frequently how I was raised in a dysfunctional family, as my mother was an alcoholic.
What I haven't spoken about is another  really big trauma that happened when I was 18.
I was date raped by someone I trusted would not hurt me, someone I considered him my friend.
Just typing that brings up a huge amount of anxiety and fear!
What is hardest about this is that the people I was close to at that time in my life actively told me that they believed I welcomed it, that I was lying, and that it was my fault. Even a big part of me believed that I deserved it, that I could have/should have done something differently to prevent it.
Until a few years ago, I could not say out loud that I was raped. It was about a year ago that I let this out in therapy. Why had I held it in so long? I was ashamed. Ashamed that it happened, ashamed that I did not prevent it, ashamed that it was effecting me still like it is.
When the topic finally came up, and I heard for the first time in my life someone (my counselor) say the words "Do you know this wasn't your fault and that you didn't deserve this?", the flood gates were opened. I had finally heard the thing I had waited all these years to hear!
I remember going for a run a few days later and abruptly stopping and taking a moment to be alone with myself, and I forgave myself that day for ever thinking I deserved that to happen. It was a big moment for me, but I am certain I am not done with all of the feelings and the trauma of what happened to me back then. I know this because as I sit here typing, I am full of emotion right under the surface that is about to spill out. I know this also because my counselor has recommended that I see another counselor to do some specialized therapy that deals specifically with traumatic issues. I am starting that therapy this week.
I have mixed feelings about this- I am excited to move forward in my life and my relationships and I know that I will as I dig some of these big things out with someone and sort through them and heal- but I am also terrified of  recounting and dealing with the emotions that will come up and out as I do go through the process. But, I'm ready. I am trusting the process. I have come so far, and I know that things just keep getting better for me as I do things I'm afraid to do.
I am sharing this for a number of reasons, if you are wondering why I would even bring this heavy topic up.
1. I have spent far too long keeping this inside.
2. I want to encourage anyone else feeling ashamed of something they had no control over to hear the truth that it wasn't your fault!
3. I want others to understand how important it is to talk about things that aren't talked about. Because I lived in a family that you didn't talk about the problems, and every big problem was a secret, something to be ashamed of.
Well, I'm changing that today. No more shame, no more secrets. It's time to move forward.