On compulsion and addiction

It's often one of those things that I don't catch until I step back, or away from, to fully "see" that something has become an issue.
I walk a continual 'fine line' when it comes to over doing things. From eating too much candy to running when my body could use a day of rest, I am inherintly aware of how easily things can get out of balance for me.
The problem does not just lie in my awareness of the excessive thing in question.
The problem lies in seeing it and holding myself accountable; walking away from the bag of jelly beans or intentionally taking  a day off from running so I can get rest inbetween runs or heal up a nagging pain.
I can be aware that I'm out of balance yet I still will get up and run.
I can be completely aware that I have eaten more than a serving (or two or three) of something...yet knowing does not mean I will stop.
Often, I won't.
And before the indulgence, this thought comes:
"I ran today, it's no big deal"
Followed by this one as the guilt sets in:
"You had better make sure to get up and run tomorrow"

And that is how two normal, healthy activities so easily become one dysfunctional process for someone who struggles with addiction and/or compulsion.

It wasn't until I took a 2 week hiatus from my "routine" that I realized I'd been pretty much eating whatever I wanted as far as sweets/treats went followed by making sure I kept my mileage up so I wouldn't gain weight.
Not only was my method not working, it has left me on the verge of injury for months now.

Since we have returned home, I have broken the cycle.
I have held myself accountable for everything that I eat by logging it on a free app called My Fitness Pal.
I have also been running, but not because I have overeaten, or so I can eat candy all day, but because I love the activity and because I am working to lose the 10 pounds I have gained these past few months.

I am a constant work in progress. This was a big realization for me and while I am not without embarrassment to come forth in telling about it, I do feel fortunate that I am able to see what was happening and call myself out on it and learn from it.